This blog is for everyone that still (maybe secretly) thinks I’ve got my shit together here in Australia. That I’m living life. Have been on a holiday for the last two years and got the real Australian ‘no worries’ mentality.

This is not the case at all. Everything is shit. And if that little thing isn’t shit yet, it probably will be tomorrow. Nobody’s life is a fairytale. Nobody’s life is perfect. Mine neither. It probably looks a lot like it if you’re just following me online. But don’t we all do that? Only show the bright sides of life on social media?

Life is testing me out badly at the moment. And not only just today, but it has been for a few months now. I’ve got a massive visa problem. Like you’ll probably know I’ve got an Australian boyfriend, a motorbike, a car, an incredible sweet dog and a horse and don’t want to say goodbye to any of these. But there’s one little problem. I haven’t been able to find a good way to extend my visa. Which expires today.


But didn’t you have options?
Of course I had options. But what are you supposed to do, if all the options mess up your whole life and none of the options is what you would like? A partner visa has never been an option, as Ben and I unfortunately can’t do this at the moment.

For a long time I had been thinking of getting a student visa. I had heard that this is extremely expensive and when I finally did go to an agency for some more information I was shocked by how much it would cost. If I would do a little shitty business course I would have to go to school one day a week. It’s one of those stupid courses that just ticks the boxes. You’ll probably learn something en will get a diploma in the end, but you will also waste a lot of time making high-school-like assessments. If I would do a course like that, I would also want to do a parttime course that I would actually enjoy doing, which would probably be Dog training and behaviour. All together it would cost me about $11,000 with visas, health insurance and both studies all included. And all it would do, is just buy me an extra year. Studying in Australia doesn’t work towards a PR unfortunately.


And what about a sponsorship?
I’ve had a lot of bad luck with my last few jobs. The plan at first was to get sponsored by Ben’s moms partner where I’ve worked for about three months. In the end I had to quit unfortunately, because the way things were going didn’t make me a happy employee.

From then on I’ve ha a really stressful time trying to find a sponsor. I didn’t have much time left and finding a company that wants to sponsor you is really hard. I had to decide to work parttime in a little cafe, so I still had a bit of money coming in. This ended up being a really awesome place to work, my boss was good, the colleagues were fun and so were the customers. After a few months of working here, I had to quit because of the really good sales job I got. When I got the training for this job I also had a really good conversation with the owner of the company. She told me she’d sponsored six people before, totally understood my situation and would love to help. Unfortunately this turned out to be too good to be true. She did not give me any shifts, started ignoring me and our contact totally disappeared. It was obvious she had changed her mind. So I had to start looking for a new job again.
Luckily I’ve never had much problems with this and managed to get 6 trials planned within a day. I ended up working in a really nice restaurant on Southbank because they had quite a few hours available, and if I would manage to get into management, there might have been a (tiny little) chance that they could sponsor me. They’re part of a big chain which makes it all a lot easier.


And then?
Ben and I didn’t talk or think about the problem for a long time. We both acted like it wasn’t there and it would solve itself. Of course it didn’t. Three weeks ago we’ve had a few cry sessions about it and decided that the ‘best’ option probably is for me not to stay. If I would stay on a student visa, I would only be allowed to work 20 hours a week, which would just cover the costs. Next to that I would get into a huge debt because of the study costs and that all only for one more year. I’ve also always said that I would love to stay in Australia, but that I’m not going to waste my time. I would not want to get sponsored in McDonalds where I’ll have to flip burgers for 3 years to get that little piece of paper I want so bad.

It was difficult. It is difficult. We both ignored the whole problem until I only had 2 weeks left and really needed to start organising stuff. We decided it’d be better for me to go, even though we both didn’t want that to happen. I started trying to arrange everything as quick as possible, packed my bags, sold my car, decided where I was going to go, did barely sleep and etc. etc. etc. Of course life was testing me out again and made a lot of things go to shit. Like my bike that people tried to steal and damaged badly one night.


The plan
At first I was thinking to go to New Zealand with Garo and travel around there for a year, but I did not have enough time at all to arrange everything that’s needed. So in the end I decided to go to Asia, where I always wanted to go anyway.  I’ll stay in Asia until Garo gets on his flight back home, which will probably be within 2 months. I will then join him on his flight so we’ll arrive in Amsterdam with the two of us. I’m on my way to Phuket at the moment and am planning on seeing a lot more of Asia in the next two months. I’m thinking of maybe going to a meditation retreat, to destress a bit, but the plan at the moment is mainly ‘I’ll see and try to make the most of everything.’


Life isn’t always easy, not for me either. I’m trying to stay positive and hope that this is all ‘meant to be’. I don’t regret any choices I’ve made and I’ll see where life will take me next. Hopefully something fun is waiting around the corner.

I probably shouldn’t winch so much either. I’m still healthy, am still able to travel Asia for a couple of months and am as free as a little bird again. It just all hurts so damn much.